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Post by sersi on Feb 24, 2013 22:21:29 GMT -8
To - All available Investigations staff.
From - Seanne Rystaad, CEO
CC - Mila Cameron
Re - Everything is True.
It has come to my attention that with all of our resources one of life's greater mysteries has yet to be answered to my satisfaction. Namely - Is one Elvis Pressley, AKA - The King of Rock still alive, and if so what is his current location. This is not a priority investigation, but if any are not busy I would appreciate it given serious attention. Thank you
- <3 Seanne Rystaad, CEO
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Post by effinfitz on Feb 24, 2013 22:47:50 GMT -8
To - Seanne
From - Mila
Re - Re - Everything is True.
Just an FYI, but CC'ing me on a Department-wide memo just reeks of redundancy.
Regarding your request, Elvis would be 88 years old now, far beyond the average lifespan for a healthy American male, which he was not. Furthermore, conventional wisdom is that the body was recovered nearly forty years ago and buried. I'm familiar with the tabloid rumor, but is there any particular reason why you just broadcasted this request to my entire staff?
- M
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Post by sersi on Feb 25, 2013 0:06:25 GMT -8
To - Mila
From - Seanne
re- re- re - Everything Is True.
Mostly a question that came up from a potential client after one of the RFG shows. Forgot about it until recently and figured if some of them weren't busy it wouldn't hurt to look.
- <3 Seanne
P.S. 88? rly?
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Post by tess on Feb 25, 2013 7:21:58 GMT -8
To - Seanne Rystaad, CEO
From - Teresa Auerbach
CC - Mila Cameron
Re - Everything is True.
My former publication did a piece on this a few years ago. After exhaustive research, it was determined the Elvis was, in fact, dead (or really good at hiding) Sorry.
However, interestingly enough, there is some evidence that suggests that Tupac may still be around. That hologram stunt from last year? There's more to that than meets the eye.
~Tess
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Post by tess on Feb 25, 2013 8:14:33 GMT -8
To - Seanne Rystaad, CEO
From - Teresa Auerbach
CC - Mila Cameron
Re - Everything is True.
P.S.
This was before I was fully in the know however. If you want I could take another look at it? Something I would do in the downtime between my other investigations or when data is compiling. Now that I have more resources and know what kind of things I may be looking for. Some of my old leads my have dried up, but it's not like I would be starting cold. I can't guarantee I would find anything though. I've got some personal interest in this. I've always wanted to meet the King.
~Tess
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Post by sersi on Feb 25, 2013 10:24:26 GMT -8
to - Seanne Rystaad, CE
From - Seanna Rystaad, CO
CC-
re - re - Everything is true
[MAILER DAEMON - UNDELIVERABLE RECIPIENT]
sflue that wuld ne hreat!
<3Seanne
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Post by sersi on Feb 25, 2013 10:29:18 GMT -8
To -Teresa Auerbach, Favorite Investigations Officer
From - Seanne Rystaad, CEO
re - re - Everything is True (take 2)
Sorry I took so long to get back to you. Busy night. I totally didn't accidently just send the email to my personal email instead of you. If you could do that, it would be awesome! Log your hours on it and I'll get ya some overtime.
- <3 Seanne Rystaad, CEO
P.S. [FOR PRIVATE EYES ONLY!] Also, if an email comes to you with picture attachments that have anything appearantly drunken variation of the word "KARAOKE", this is NOT the email I meant to send to my home computer. It is a test! All those pictures are viruses. Forward it to my home computer please and then delete without looking. Its a test!
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Post by tess on Feb 26, 2013 21:02:49 GMT -8
To - Seanne Rystaad, CEO From - Teresa Auerbach re - re - Everything is True (take 2) Shay, I did some digging into you Elvis question and I stumbled over something. Something that could shake the very foundations of everything we believe. Elvis isn't dead. Because Elvis was never really alive. I know it sounds crazy. I talked to some of my sources and they pointed me towards an Elvis Impersonation School and told me that there was more to it than meets the eye. I flagged their staff records and got to work. For an Elvis Impersonation School they've got a really impressive faculty. Metaphysicists, Thaumaturgists, noted Occultists. I cross referenced anything they might have in common, and came across a thesis buried in the library of the University of Mississippi dated January 8, 1935. If that sounds familiar, it's because it's Elvis' date of birth. Here's where things get crazy. The thesis led me to several sources, and as near as I can figure Elvis isn't a person. Elvis is an entity that appears through out history in times of great political or spiritual turmoil. Tales of The Crusades and a lone warrior named Al Vas cutting swaths through the Knights Templar's lines of defense. Or at the battle of the Alamo. One El Vez, personal bodyguard of Antonio López de Santa Anna, personally killing Davey Crocket and Jim Bowie. It goes on and on. I took the liberty of enhancing some photos of other famous Elvis sightings. Here: 1970, meeting President Nixon  1969, on the set of The Illuminati's "Moon Landing"  1989, Tianamen Square  This is big boss. Dangerous stuff. Already people are starting to ask questions. I think they're on to me. It isn't safe to talk about this in public, and if they're looking I may have to go to ground, keep out of sight. I just hope AEgir email encryption is good enough. I shouldn't even be telling you this. If. If I don't make it. Tell Sera. Tell her I'm sorry. ~Tess |
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Post by tess on Feb 26, 2013 21:04:19 GMT -8
To: Seene Rystaad, CEO
From: Teresa Auerbach
[Mailer Daemon - Invalid Address. This Email Could Not Be Sent.]
Hey boss, Tess again
I was just pulling your leg. Sorry, I know it was a mean joke. Truth is, I couldn't find anything. It may be that the real Elvis Aaron Presley was just a regular guy. And the only thing that he loved more than deep fried sandwiches was cocaine and barbiturates and he died of a very real heart attack in 1977. I feel bad taking overtime without getting results, so let's call this a wash.
Oh P.S. I'm going to be out of contact this weekend. Visiting mom at home. I'm turning off my company communicator. It's my weekend and I don't want to drag any weirdness into her life.
Anyway, thanks again and sorry. See you around the office
~Tess
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Post by sersi on Feb 26, 2013 23:02:55 GMT -8
((bad tess, bad!))
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Post by tess on Feb 26, 2013 23:34:18 GMT -8
((XD. I wanted to come up with an IC reason why I won't be on this weekend. (I'm going to be out of town at a convention) ))
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Post by sersi on Feb 27, 2013 9:41:57 GMT -8
((ECCC? And I meant bad that you're "Just kiding!" email was undelivered, or am i reading that wrong?))
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Post by tess on Feb 27, 2013 10:28:50 GMT -8
((Yeah! ECCC. And yes the "Just Kidding" email was not sent. That's what we like to call "dramatic irony"  )) |
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Post by Carl on Feb 27, 2013 10:47:59 GMT -8
To: Seanne Rystaad
From: Carl Weaver
CC: Mila Cameron, Teresa Auerbach
Subject: Overtime Payment
Shay:
Did I really just get an Overtime Payment Approval form from Payroll for an Agent's investigation of.....whether Elvis is dead or not? Can't say I'm surprised you waited for Mila to be away before sending this Investigation's way...she'd probably have a few choice words for you about "productive uses of company resources."
I'll approve the overtime so that Tess is compensated for her work, but may I suggest taking the funds out of the "Executive Expense" budget rather than ours? (Since this kind of was your pet project.)
Carl Weaver
Chief Agent, Investigations
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Post by sersi on Feb 27, 2013 11:53:15 GMT -8
To - Carl Weaver, Big Chief
From - Seanne Rystaad, CEO
re - Overtime
Totes! That was the plan all along. Also Mila knew about the project. Check the CC! Read your email!!!!111
- <3 Seanne
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))