The Investigation Department offices

[effinfitz]

The investigations department is housed on floors 28-32 of the Solvall, a large and mostly-open vertical space in the northwest corner of the building. Entrances on the 28th, 30th, and 32nd floors open onto a small landing of the twisting-yet-technically-handicap-accessible ramp that spirals right through the middle of this area, and takes most of the open space of the middle floors. There are also emergency stairs accessible on either end of the department.

There are, interestingly, no windows in the investigations department until one reaches the top floor. When combined with the slate-grey marble of the walls, floors and ceilings and the generally dim lighting the whole effect can be rather depressing. The thickness of the walls mean the office floors can be positively mausoleum-quiet. The only noise heard in the hallways is the chatter bubbling up from the PIT -- which, during peak hours, can get quite excitable.

Floor 28 – The Pit

The Pit is remarkably claustrophobic for such a large space. Dark, tinted blue by countless monitors and punctuated by the matching reds of glowing exit signs and back-lit keyboards. Banks of linked monitors line the walls and hang from the ceiling, showing the results of the automated web searches constantly running on the department's computers. Everything from the CEO's latest shenanigan to raving conspiracies and alien autopsies scroll from one screen to the next, making the full tour of the floor before repeating or being updated.

The central space is given over to the desks and computers of the PIT Crew, Illuminated interns who essentially function as gophers for the actual agents of the department. There are anywhere from five to a dozen of these in all, depending on the time of day and year. Generally college aged and lacking any particular skill set that'd make them useful to the faction, Mila gave them a low-paying position where they get to be useful just by surfing the web and talking on the phone (she frowned on any agent who uses them for coffee runs). Everyone wins.

The PIT Crew is surrounded by water coolers and vending machines filled to the gills with various Products from our Sponsors ™. The only factor limiting their use is that the PIT Crew would have to stand up to reach them. They work in a circular depression, ringed by three steps up to the rest of the floor. Hence, “Pit.” There are a pair of ramps – again, for wheelchairs – but they climb at an angle too steep for office chairs.

Nevertheless, junk food forms a large part of the PIT's working diet.

Restrooms, a breakroom, and a storeroom are just past the vending machines, each ringed by a narrow hallway. The path that grants access to the upper floors can be accessed by ramps on either side of the main entrance, meeting at the 29th floor landing before beginning its climb to the rest of the department. The ramp is directly over the PIT's heads, alleviating their claustrophobia some but leading to several shouted conversations with agents upstairs who are too impatient to simply call them on the phone.

Floors 29 through 31 – The Offices

Offices (and the necessary restrooms and such) branch off from the ramp at each floor. The offices of the are oddly rounded, like tulip petals: “what the architect was smoking when he made them” is a frequent topic of discussion amongst new staff members.

Mila actually assigned someone to look into this. She was rather curious. No one's quite sure what the findings were, though, or where they went. The agent who took the case has since been called back by the Labyrinth following a remarkably blank incident report.

The sizes of the offices aren't uniform, and senior agents are typically given the larger spaces (unless they'd rather not bother with moving all their things). Each floor is identical to the next, though, and each has short and straight hallways leading through them and to the emergency exits. The hallways are only slightly brighter than the Pit, though blessedly less blue. The actual offices themselves are fully lit and include gentle UV lamps to counteract the lack of natural sunlight available.

Carl's office would be somewhere on the 31st floor. Given the confusing layout, it's rather hard to describe exactly where.

Floor 32 – The Floor Everyone Tries To Avoid

The ramp ends at the fully-walled-in landing on the 32nd floor. There are three doors here. One leads to the rest of the Solvall. Another leads to the boardroom, where only the most mission-critical of department-wide-meetings are held. Massive enough for a long glass conference table, two dozen pleather office chairs that look like they were stolen from F1 racers and large stage for presentations. The exterior wall is all window and gives a rather dizzying view of the city below. The floor and walls are the same gray imitation marble as the rest of the department, with ensconced steel lights and a slick black ceiling. It's a rather nice room, really, but its purpose makes it hard for anyone to be comfortable in it. Who likes meetings, really?

The last door is marked with a simple steel plate that reads “Auerbach”. Also marked by floor-to-ceiling windows, which lends a little openness to an office that otherwise seems like a miniature twin to the Pit. The desk is the same steel-and-glass type of everything else, the lighting a shade brighter than "ambience," and the rest of the furniture -- three leather office chairs and a couch -- are only gently used.

The PIT Crew!

The Preliminary Investigations Team: a gaggle of geeks, nerds, and generally socially inept inductees into the Illuminati. They have just enough security clearance to know that Weird Shit Happens, but not enough to understand the how or why of it. They have the thankless job of monitoring the constant stream of finds flagged by the department's bots, evaluate them, and send the titillating bits up to Tess. When not busy enough with that, the PIT team also look up information for agents in the field and take care of logistical concerns like travel and funding. Even the most blasé of them is still smart enough to be scared of the Illuminati food chain (heck, they're all chipped), so requests are filled ASAFP. The interns drop everything when a call comes in.

They're compensated for this with a bare-bones paycheck and unlimited internet access to use as they like when there's nothing to be done. It's rather common to hear a half-dozen videos playing in the background as the bored kids munch on bacon-flavored Cheezy Poofs ™ and scroll through the latest news updates from the bots.

Lucy Randall

The unofficial chief of the PITs, Lucy is the most organized of them all and probably the most likely to actually get promoted into a real job. With an uncanny gift to figure out the best place to look for information and with a remarkably placid personality given the pressure senior agents place on her, she was Mila's favorite -- back when that mattered. Now she's the unofficial den mother of the interns, making sure that they're not too abused as the management changes hands.

She's also the one who motivated the rest of the crew to all chip in every payday for takeout. Pizza Friday is traditional

The 'bots

As noted, the investigation department has a sickening number of bots trolling the newsfeeds, social networking sites, and search engines for certain keywords. “Illuminati” is one. “Kingsmouth” is another. Anything involving Morninglight. Disaster predictions. Government leads. Suspicious 911 calls. Pirate radio broadcasts. The information deluge is staggering, so they're automatically weighted based on projected accuracy and relevance, then linked to possible matches.

Of course, these are still just programs. They've been known to make some rather sloppy connections, which is why the PIT crew monitors the feeds.

The Senior Agents

The Senior/Junior Agent division was a rather arbitrary one set up by Mila. Essentially, all the bees ((read: all PCs)) were grouped together as Senior Agents. Investigative experience -- or talent, even -- were wholly irrelevant. The reasons given were that bees could survive a much more dangerous class of assignment, use Agartha, and come into contact with the supernatural with much less risk than others.

The pay isn't that much better, granted.

The Junior Agents

Thirty seven "Junior Agents" work in Investigations. None of them appreciate the name, probably, but they're very stoic about it. They're less understanding of playing second-fiddle to the motley assortment that make up the Senior Agents, but that's only once had an impact on performance.

Mila terminated that agent. That's all that's ever been said regarding it.

The Junior Agents, unlike the Seniors, are all Illuminati operatives with varying degrees of field experience. Backgrounds differ, but they've all had thorough training in corporate espionage. They're also much more self-contained, rarely interacting with either the Senior Agents or the company at large.

Cases, or, What Does Investigation Investigate?

Depends. Senior agents might do anything. It depends on what, exactly, their bosses want to know. The PIT and the 'bots are always on alert for new or developing situations, ready to call in a possible Wierd Shit Goin' On alert.

Junior agents work as anything from consultants to law enforcement to information procurement to a select list of Sponsor-approved clients. As opposed to their counterparts, most junior agent tasks are arranged in advance and written down in legalese. Traditionally, Mila never used them for AEgir's own information gathering.